Reading.

On the go at the moment:

Novel: About a Boy, Nick Hornby.

Bible: Numbers, 1 Timothy, Ephesians.

College Stuff: Any paper on 'head' and 'body' in Ephesians that I can get my hands on, for an essay due in a fortnight. Today I read some fresh perspectives from Sarah Sumner's Men and Women in the Church, some of which I think have legs. Has anyone read it? I'm pondering it at the moment.

Just finished: Confessions of a reformission rev. Mark Driscoll, An Enigmatic Life M. Cameron, Genesis, Mark, Almost French Sarah Turnbull

What are you reading?

Cool ad from New Zealand

six reasons

Every husband has different wonderful qualities, but here’s why I love mine:

1. He is relational and great with women without even trying to be. Thank God for older sisters, is all I can say.
2. He’s really good at fixing things. When something breaks, I know he’ll be able to put it back together, from phones and computer stuff to hardware and cars, even the crash on the drum-kit which I accidentally broke yesterday at band practice. What a man.
3. He honours our marriage as his primary ministry, even above college work and church.
4. He puts up with my shameless fishing for compliments after every meal I cook (“is it nice? Do you like it?”) with generous compliments.
5. He cares more about my godliness than he does about my happiness…
6. …but he also encourages me to do the things that make me happy (like by doing the housework so I can fit in exercise after a busy day at work).

Generosity

Recently we've received some generous gifts and provision that I am thankful to God for.

Last week, totally out of the blue, some dear friends gave us vouchers for groceries. It came at just the right time and was for a particularly generous amount. On top of that, today we were given a mobile phone to replace the broken ones that we couldn't afford to replace. And while our car has been off the road, and as it goes in for repairs next week, another friend has loaned us a car while they are away.

God has been answering our prayers and providing for our needs through the kindness of those who are our brothers and sisters in the Lord. Thanks to these people too. I know all of you read our blog.

reasons why I'm switching from smh.com to ABC online

1. Pop-up ads. grrrrr.
2. The homepage on smh.com currently focuses on three things: sex, crime and celebrities. Better yet when they can combine these three things in various combinations (sex crimes, celebrity crimes, sex and celebrities).
3. A man who was formerly a woman before his/her sex-change operation falling pregnant is not breaking news.
4. It seems like all you need these days to be an smh.com opinion writer is either a famous name, a feminist take on every issue or be nineteen years old. Then you can speak like an expert on all manner of things in our society. Note - Ross Gittens should stick to economics, not everything is about sexism and being aP-plater who's been to a few raves on the North Shore does not make you "hard-core" nor qualify you to provide extensive commentary on adolescent binge drinking!

my weekend

Hope everyone has had a great Easter long weekend. Sam and I did, hence this self-indulgent post about what we got up to.

On Friday we slept in and had our friends Matt and Kate over for afternoon tea/dinner and a quirky DVD called Waitress which had me thinking about chocolate pies and diners all weekend.

Saturday was busy - left in the morning to catch a train to Newtown and borrow Kym's car for the day, then drive to western Sydney for my old church's houseparty. I was asked to give a seminar on self esteem and had faithfully prepared material for 19-year-old uni aged girls, only to find that all (not most...all) of the women who had signed up were my mother's age. I really believe the Bible is unto something when it tells us that older women are to teach the younger, plus given these women had raised children, gone through 20-odd years of marriage, had major life changes and were on the whole a lot more godly, beautiful and mature than me, I was in short freaking out. It turned out to be fine though. I drew my boundaries, adopted a more respectful tone and we ended up having a great chat about self esteem and finding our identity in Christ. I think I may have learnt more than they did!

I didn't hang around long afterwards. We bailed, Sam to a buck's night while I hung out with Em and Roz, watching Love Actually and chatting about various things (I love spending time with girlfriends!), until it was time to drop off the car in Newtown and catch the train home again.

Sunday we slept in again, cleaned the entire house and walked to church - a fifty minute trip - for band practice. Sunday service was encouraging; I had been feeling a little emotionally tired yesterday so it was great to be reminded that Jesus is alive, that we worship a living God who has triumphed over death. Sophie also got baptised which was very cool, I think the first baptism I've seen at church.

And now today (kudos if you've bothered reading this far!). The shopping is done - walked to Norton St - how green and fit do I feel! I've been doing more housework and slowly reading through Mark Driscoll's Confessions of a Reformation Rev. which I am enjoying thoroughly, in particular the ways it is making me think about Sam and our future ministry in Sydney.

Work tomorrow...hopefully it won't be too hard to go back after such a nice weekend...

Language learning

There is a lot of discussion on the web about the value of learning Biblical languages. I haven't got involved at the original post, but here's my first thoughts.

1. Languages aren't always as hard as people make them out to be. Sometimes the 'aura' surrounding something foreign makes it look much harder than it really is. If you are given some good advice on good methods of learning languages, all of a sudden it's not so tough. If you do anything for an hour a day you'll get proficient at it rather quickly.

2. The human brain can handle many languages. Greek is my 4th language, Hebrew now my 5th. Under that I've got English, Latin and German. In many countries having two languages is completely normal.

3. As to the 'cash value' of these things - I'm disappointed in the extreme pragmatism I see on-line. Anyone who says 'If I can't use it in this week's sermon then I don't want to learn it' has the wrong attitude. Not everything you know has to be in your sermons - sometimes just having a bigger framework and understanding of things is helpful for shaping your thoughts that will go into a sermon.

Car Accident

Not my fault.

A lady ran into me on my way home this afternoon. She changed lanes without looking. A bit inconvenient really. Easter isn't the best time to get things repaired, and I'm going away on mission after Easter, and I'm not keen to leave Soph here without a car. Grrr.

More advice to the young theologian

Here's five quotes from Mr Spurgeon:

1. "The devil is a greater scholar than you and a nimbler disputant."
2. "Do not run about inviting yourselves to preach here and there; be more concerned about your ability than your opportunity, and more earnest about your walk with God than about either."
3. "The sensible minister will be particularly gentle in argument."
4. "Whatever "call" a man may pretend to have, if he has not been called to holiness, he has certainly not been called to the ministry."
5. "Texts will often refuse to reveal their treasures till you open them with the key of prayer."

insomnia part 2.

Based on everyone’s advice, I was really strategic about my bedtime last night. Comfy clothes, no TV, fluffy yet not too enthralling book (The Nanny Diaries) at the ready, a mindset to rest and not fall asleep.

The first half hour was great; I hit the pillow and five minutes later was asleep. According to Sam I was even snoring, which is brilliant (for me, obviously not for him).

Enter our neighbour’s muffler.

Words cannot describe how much I hate our neighbour’s beat-up old car. I dream about smashing in its windows and letting out its tires. This car not only causes its fair share of air pollution but makes a horrific, earth-shattering noise when it revs, like a succession of lawnmowers amplified by ten, always at odd hours of the night.

I woke up half an hour after I fell asleep, my perfect sleep bubble burst by the hrrrrr hrrrr hrrr of that wretched car. And I didn’t fall asleep until 4am the next morning.
However to my credit, I was extremely disciplined in my approach, waking and reading, then resting again in bed before trying the whole thing again. Eventually I resorted to lighting candles, which seemed to work.

Today I feel surprisingly lucid, though I managed to fall asleep (with my eyes open?!??) while interviewing the MD of a media agency in the city. I came back to reality with a start and realised he had been talking for five minutes and I had no idea what he was going on about.

But insomnia is not all that bad. There are many benefits to come out of my sleeplessness, including important preparation for baby-rearing, increased opportunity to read novels and the chance to toughen my mind like a zen master in bizarre deprivation training regimen. Sure, I may fall asleep at work, and yes, after dropping Christine off a few blocks away from home in Summer Hill I did accidentally drive all the way to Canterbury, but think about the number of Marian Keys books I could get through in a year!

Not in my top 5 appliances...

...are mobile phones. I've had a run of duds lately. The one that came on my last contract - a Nokia 6210
- died with software and screen issues after less than 12 months. When it died, I resurrected my old Nokia 6170 which was going pretty strong, but not so long ago the on/off button broke. This didn't seem like a huge problem - as long as I was on a regimented charging routine. But I dropped the ball, and it turned off - not likely to turn on again!
So while over at Mum and Dad's on the weekend I rummaged around their drawers and found a even older Nokia 6610 hiding under old remote controls and battery chargers. It works okay when it's on, but the battery doesn't last much more than 12 hours.

Can anyone help me out with a better (anything nokia) phone?

Luther's warning to young theologians

I have a short essay due this week on 'pitfalls for young theologians'. It has been a humbling essay to read for. I've read extracts of papers from Spurgeon, Lewis, Bonhoeffer, Barth, Warfield and Luther - all compiled in an unpublished book by Andrew Cameron and Brian Rosner.

Here is some of what Luther has to say on the subject:

"If however you feel and are inclined to think you have made it, flattering yourself with your own little books, teaching, or writing, because you have done it beautifully and preached excellently; if you are highly pleased when someone praises you in the presence of others; if you perhaps look for praise, and would sulk or quit what you are doing if you did not get it - if you are of that stripe dear friend, then take yourself by the ears, and if you do this in the right way you will find a beautiful pair of big long shaggy donkey ears. Then do not spare any expense! Decorate them with golden bells, so that people will be able to hear you wherever you go, point their fingers at you, and say, 'See, See! There goes that clever beast, who can write such exquisite books and preach so remarkably well.' That very moment you will be blessed and blessed beyond measure in the kingdom of heaven. Yes, in that heaven where hellfire is ready for the devil and his angels!"

insomniac.

Lately I’ve been going through bouts of insomnia, which is starting to take its toll on my poor little brain.

It usually starts on Sunday night. For some reason, I get really worked up after church (not necessarily in a bad or good way) and find that I can’t sleep until about 4 or 5 in the morning. I then wake up at 7am, do the entire day half awake and try to sleep again on the Monday, only to face the same problem (though often not as bad as sleeping at 4). This goes on until I get progressively exhausted during the week, so that by Friday I collapse into bed at 10pm and fall straight asleep, only to hit the weekend and do the same thing all over again. It is frustrating, almost as frustrating as the little red digits on our alarm clock that tell me I have “5 hours before I have to wake up…4 hours before I have to wake up…2 hours before I have to wake up” and so on.

It is fine at the moment as work is in between busy periods, but it’s starting to take its toll, not to mention making for a cranky wife! Possible reasons could be the weather, lack of routine since our lives changed with Sam at college, my inability to really relax and chill out (or so people tell me)…or maybe I just do too much on Sundays!

Donald Robinson at college

Yesterday morning in chapel we had the privelege of listening to Donald Robinson speak about his newly published selected works. I'm not sure quite how old Mr Robinson is, but he was as sharp as a tack for someone of his age. He made some gags, recollected events and memories from half a century ago and was at his most animated when speaking of the fulfilment of God's old covenant promises in Christ. It was wonderful to listen to a man who has spent his whole life ministering the gospel running the race to the very end, and still finding his delight in the very great and precious promises of Christ.

A day for weird news

Smh has some crazy stories today. You can find this kind of stuff in the 'unusual tales' section! Here's 5 funny ones:

1. Woman sits on toilet for too long
2. Mafia man too fat for prison
3. Guthers' work sign set on fire.
4. French mayor forbids death.
5. Big breasts get model aquitted.

On sponsorship.

It's like something out of a William Gibson book, or Kevin Smith's satiric movie Dogma.

A number of blue-chip companies, including Qantas, Mercedes Benz and Testra, are set to enter into sponsorship partnerships with World Youth Day, according to this article from the Australian. Below are some quotes from John Moore, an executive from Global Brands Group and head of the event's commercial partnership ventures:

"I discovered two things: that from a high-level point of view, there is nothing bigger than sport and religion; and when you go below that, Australia is going to be on show to the world."

"Qantas? I think they felt from a strategic perspective there was tourism, and also from a commercial perspective. They will also take the Pope home."

"It's not like we were walking in and saying, 'Would you like to sponsor the Pope?' We are not trying to be overtly commercial. They clearly want to help have a successful event rather than basking in the glow of their brand."

Apparently World Youth Day will boast about 25 large-scale partnerships, with companies promoting everything from food products to logistics abilities.

"When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts he found men selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said, "Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!"

John 2:13-16

no condemnation.

For the past week, I’ve been reading a few Bible passages each day to prepare for my self-esteem seminar, meditating upon God’s Word and seeking His wisdom in prayer on this difficult issue.

Yesterday I read Romans 7:21-24. Paul writes:

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Did Paul suffer from low esteem when he wrote this? Probably not, as the term didn’t really exist in a pre-Freudian world, but it’s clear that Paul felt turmoil and despair over his sinful nature, over his weakened flesh that indulged in the things he knew was wrong - despite his good intentions.

I’ve often felt this way about my own failings. I say I’ll never do it again but I do, sometimes repeatedly, leading feelings of guilt and despair. Sometimes, it can even feel like I’ll never “conquer” my sin; that I’ll always be doomed to fail God’s impossibly high standard of living.

But what is Paul’s response to his failings?

Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

Paul falls on his knees in thankfulness to God for Jesus. And then he pens those four sweet, life-giving words: There is no condemnation.

As I dwell in Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit sets me free from the consequences of sin and death. This does not mean I won’t ever sin again in this lifetime - Paul acknowledges the duality we still face between living righteous lives and the temptation to sin. It also doesn’t mean that we can’t be rebuked for our sins and compelled (by the Spirit or God working through other Christians) to repent and come back to Jesus. What it does mean is that I no longer stand condemned for my sins.

How often do we take time to dwell on this beautiful truth? Not to study it, pull it apart, exegete it for a sermon, use it to mount a case for penal substitutionary atonement (though these can all be good things). To just meditate on it. Rejoice in it. Delight in it.

Three things I have learnt:

1. As long as I am united with Jesus, God forgives me and does not condemn me for my sin.

2. As long as I am united with Jesus, the world cannot condemn me for my sin. There is a difference between godly rebuke and ugly condemnation. Many people with a low view of themselves may have borne the weight of wrongful condemnation, whether it’s from a critical boss, judgmental friend or overbearing parent.

3. As long as I am united, I cannot condemn myself for my sin. There have been times in my life where I have struggled to forgive myself for the sins I have committed, struggled to stop beating myself up and to instead take a hold of the grace God has lavished upon me. This is a profoundly misplaced attitude. Not only does it betray a lack of trust in the forgiveness offered in Christ, but it places myself, not God, in the judgment throne. I become the one who doles out punishment and decides when I can be pardoned, not my Father. If God says I do not stand condemned, then who am I to say I am?

To end with, the timely words of a hymn:

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who put an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless saviour died
My sinful soul is counted free!
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

SINKs

The Mosaic 2008 survey is out and has some interesting research on new demographics in Australia.

Apparently Sam and I are SINKs (Single Income No Kids), which sounds a little better than DINKs!

why...

...are so many girls who work in PR called "Sophie"?

Engage Tickets

Just got my engage tickets on-line. People who went last year not only got some inspired talks from Justin, (who has been posting some great stuff on preaching preparation lately) but also are able to order four tickets before they go on sale to the general public. Sweet deal.

Are you going this year?

In my top 5 appliances...

...Is our fridge. From what I can gather - it must be close to 40 years old. It's a kelvinator and I love it - it has lots of character. My Nan passed it onto us just before we got married, and Guthers, Ed and I achieved the momentus task of hauling the overweight monster up the stairs to our first floor apartment.

Despite the down side for the removalists, there's lots to like about this fridge. In particular I like the retro look - only one door - with the freezer compartment sitting above the main fridge area. The door is heavy to open and has a great old-school 'thud' sound when you close it.

But as with all older fridges it's not 'frost free'. And every 3 months or so, everything has to be cleared out onto the sink while the fridge is defrosted. I had to do it this afternoon after Soph realised at breakfast this morning that the freezer wasn't shutting! I literally removed a bucket of ice from inside.

dance classes.

Bonnie and I donned some pink ballet shoes and did a beginner's class at the Sydney Dance Company on the weekend.

Given that my last ballet experience involved a hot pink leotard and dancing a rag-doll routine when I was seven, I wasn't really sure what to expect. It ended up being quite fun. The first half an hour was fairly easy - bar excercises going through the five positions. Our teacher, who was an energetic, rather camp male ballerina, took things nice and slow for the newbies. Then the class started to pick up pace, until in the last half hour we were expected to do this leaping, hopping routine from one side of the studio to the other in groups of eight. That was a little scary. I ended up faking all the steps and just doing everything with my head lifted up (except the galloping bit. I'm a rather good galloper, if I don't say so myself).

I learnt a few things:

*The most glamorous participants aren't necessarily the best dancers. I made the mistake of following the leotard-clad girls at first, only the realise the pros tended to be the under-dressed, less show-off ones;
*Dance mirrors make your bum look big when you stand in profile, as do tight leggings;
*Ballet is a good workout - I was so sore the sunday after the class;
*It doesn't matter what you look like and there's no point being self conscious at a beginners' class.

Tonight is "hip-hop in the 'dale" - some of the girls from night church are getting together to do a 1 hour hip-hop class in the back hall, led by resident dance expert Christine. All girls from chruch are invited, so if you happen to be reading this and keen to come along on monday nights, send me an email. Should be good fun!

The value of evangelistic nights.

Last night I went to preach at 'Salt' at St Paul's Carlingford. It was a seriously great night. Soph and I took two of our youth leaders went along to have a look at how a bigger group works and we all came back very impressed.
The kids had gone all out inviting their friends - it was the biggest night of youth group they've ever had: 165 all up, more than 20 were first time guests. The night had a great vibe, the leaders were lovely, the kids were enthusiastic, getting involved in everything, prayer in particular. I'm looking forward to hearing how the follow up conversations go. I preached on Hebrews 9, and was happy with how the talk went, although I realised that I've become very used to the freedom of wearing a wireless microphone while preaching - having to stand on the one spot the whole time is quite restricting! I might have to make an investment in one of those microphones and take it with me next time!

Afterwards as I was chatting with Mike (the youth pastor) he was saying that as well as the guests hearing the gospel last night, he saw great value in a night like this for the regular youth. Not only do the Christian kids have a chance to be bold and invite a friend along, but the non-believing 'christianised' kids who are there every week but haven't yet started their own relationship with God often come to Christ on these nights.

authentic?

About a year ago I went to a party and saw an old acquaintance who I hadn’t spoken to for a long time.

We got to talking, about life and where we are both up to now, about church, ministry, our relationship with God. This person had moved churches and into a different tradition of Christianity. He made a number of comments about my life – that my church was too “narrow minded”, that I wasn’t experiential enough in my faith, that I was stifled, that I was repressed and needed to be more free, that I needed an authentic experience of God.

Even though this happened almost 12 months ago, his words still bother me. I believe he meant them for the best and was trying to help me, but I felt extremely judged and violated. He had spoken to me for half an hour and presumed to know the depths of my heart, let alone my relationship with my Father - all because my husband happened to have done MTS at an Anglican church. He had taken my refusal to boast about my faith and wear my deepest thoughts on my sleeve as superficiality, an inauthentic faith.

I try really hard not to judge people on the surface, to not brush people aside if their way of worship doesn’t suit my personality or circumstance. I wish people would do the same for me.

Being gentle, gracious and non-judgmental says more about the authenticity of your faith than all the spiritual talk in the world.

a stranger on the train.

I was standing on the crowded train this morning, reading Liz’s copy of Sin, Pride & Self-Acceptance, when a man tapped me on the shoulder and asked me where I got my book. He was in his fifties maybe, with an old tatty jumper, unkempt hair and blackened fingernails. This sounds awful but he looked like the kind of guy who would smell bad, however he didn’t. He smelt of soap and when he spoke, his words were lucid and like poetry.

I told him where he could find a copy of the book, writing it down for him on the catalogue he was reading. We then got to talking and he told me he had lots of questions, mainly about who he was and how he could find his purpose in life. He had been reading books about religious leaders – Buddha mainly, but also texts about Jesus and Mohammed. His conclusion was that they all said the same thing about themselves.

“Are you a Christian?” he asked, and I nodded. “Who did Jesus say He was?”

I told him. He didn’t believe me.

Now I’m at work and I can’t get his words out of my head, the way he searched so earnestly for something different in his life, the way he was willing to talk to a stranger on the train about the big questions, the way Jesus fluttered into his consciousness and then out again, like a paper cut-out discarded on the floor.

Bible Study.

This year we are loving being members of a Bible study that we're not leading. Soph and I have been leading groups for the last 3 or 4 years (the last two years together) but this year with the college load, and still overseeing Crossfire, we've decided just to be members of a group rather than lead one. It's been very refreshing, and the studies we've been working through have been great.

Tonight's study was on John 2, where Jesus turned water into wine as his first sign. Wow - wine from the one who created the world. That must have been some perfect wine! Even greater is the fact that as he did that sign he set himself on a path to the cross, to surpass the ceremonial 'washing' of the past by being a new temple - and all of this to save us. So much imagery in this passage, you could just keep on unpacking it!

Friday Night

I'm pretty excited about Friday night. I'm heading to St Paul's Carlingford to preach at their youth group "Salt". It will be a bit like a return home for me. I came to know Jesus through the ministry of this youth group (although it went by a different name back then) 10 years ago in 3 weeks time! I grew up into my faith there too and have many fond memories of later being part of the ministry as a leader for five years.

I consider it a privilege to be asked to come back.

I'll be preaching evangelistically on Hebrews 9 - for kids in years 7-12. They have more youth in these years than we have people at either of our congregations at Christians in the Media - so it'll be a very different experience to preaching at Crossfire!

I'm in need of one last introduction illustration though - maybe you can help me out. I need a piece of inconsequential, humorous, yet certain, tid-bit of trivia. Any subject - but it needs to be funny, and not all that important.

vegetarian recipes

This year, I’ve started making every second meal I cook at home vegetarian, in a bid to cut down on our grocery bill.

My favourite thing to eat/cook is a dead-easy lentil and vegetable soup, which pretty much involves stir-frying whatever vegetables I have left in the fridge (usually celery, carrot, baby bok choy, red onion and thinly sliced potato), mixing it with cooked green lentils and a small handful of cooked butterfly pasta, then boiling the whole thing in chicken stock, water and two tablespoons of canned, crushed tomatoes. It’s really nice with parmesan cheese.

Anyway, when you take away vegetarian lasagne, tofu stir-fries and my above-mentioned soup, my vegetarian repertoire is wearing a little thin. I try to avoid cooking pasta, as it’s not good to eat on a regular basis. Taste.com has not been particularly inspiring either.

Anyone have some good vegetarian recipes? Matt T, I am expecting you in particular to come through with the goods.

weekend away.

Sam and I went away last weekend with our church to Stanwell Tops for a two-day retreat.

It was a great few days, with inspiring talks and great content to mull over. Andrew Laird in particular gave a powerful talk from John which challenged me to daily mediate upon the love of God, most powerfully demonstrated in the Cross of Christ.

I really enjoyed meeting new people and just hanging out with friends, but I left the conference feeling like I didn’t get to talk to as many people, or for as long as I would have liked. That’s the nature of a big church, I suppose.

Still, I am so encouraged by how God has grown Annandale Community Church and Christians in the Media. I often find it a bit bizarre that people treat Sam and I like “the old hands” when in reality we’ve only been there for about two years. Having grown up in the same church for twenty-two years, I don’t think that’s a long time at all!