The curse of Martha
I decided to do mission part-time this year, partly because I just started a new round doing medical/health science news and it’s taking all my concentration to just do my job adequately (learnt a new word today – myocardial infarction, which means heart attack).
I thought a part-time commitment would be easier than full-time, but that was silly thinking. Not only am I still doing my job in the day, but I’m going to church straight after work to help run different events and going to bed late. I don’t get that afternoon rest in between or much time to pray, feed on God’s Word and be encouraged by AB’s talks.
Hmmm.
I love running these events, but I hate doing ministry like this: tired, resentful, running from one thing to the next. It reeks of guilt and is devoid of joy.
My husband Sam is really good at helping me to not feel like I need to keep relentlessly doing things in order to feel like a worthy Christian. He is constantly encouraging me to live by grace, not works.
Guilt and the desire to meet imagined expectations should never be a motivating factor to serve. Phrases like “I have to do it”, “If I don’t help, I feel selfish”, “If I don’t do it, no one will” or “I’m tired, but I’ll keep pushing through” don’t honour God.
I think I will be wiser in my choices next year. Meanwhile, please pray for the youth event Ultimate Reality tomorrow. I’m tired, but really looking forward to it – pray that kids will come and desire to follow Jesus.
2 comments:
My husband Sam is really good at helping me to not feel like I need to keep relentlessly doing things in order to feel like a worthy Christian. He is constantly encouraging me to live by grace, not works.
I think that's a really good point, Soph. It's one thing to believe in the efficacy of grace, but it's a different thing altogether to live by grace. The former is much, much easier than the latter. I think that society trains us to equate productivity with worth, so it is easy to slip into that mode of operation in our spiritual walk. At least that's what I find personally.
I agree with you Soph. I think another thing to remember is that all our ministry is ultimately God's work and only continue to flourish in His might and (like you said) grace.
That said, I think it's a struggle to find that balance between being faithful to our commitments and doing them well, and yet not letting ourselves be tied down or even defined by the 'ministry' we do.
I'll be praying for you and Sam and your mission. Sounds like exciting times.
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